EVERLASTING.DARKNESS.

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive..

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less


Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss
thought to himself - I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun, so he decided to
set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the
questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into
an argument.
The first question was, "Without using numbers,
represent the number 9."
Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to
draw three trees.
The boss says, "What in the world is that?"
Boudreaux says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes nine."
"Fair enough" says the boss. "Second questions,
same rules, but represent 99."
Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then
makes a smudge on each tree.
"Der ya go sir," he says.
The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that
to represent 99?"
Boudreaux answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so
it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree 'n dirty tree - dat 99."
The boss is getting worried he's going to have to
hire Boudreaux so he says, "All right, question number 3. Same rules
again, but this time represent the number 100."
Boudreaux stares into space again, then he
shouts, "I got it!" He makes a little mark at the base of each tree
and says, "Der ya go sir - 100."
The boss looks at Boudreaux's attempt and thinks, "Ha! got him this
time." He then tells Boudreaux, "Go on, Boudreaux, you must be crazy
if you think that represents a 100."
Boudreaux leans forward and points to the little
marks at the tree bases and says, "A little dog comes along and
craps by each tree, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a
turd, and dirty tree an' a turd, which makes 100. When do I start
my job?"

Panda
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich.
He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey, man, I’m a PANDA! Look it up!"
The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:
A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.

Liver and Cheese
There were these three guys at a cafe, drinking their coffee - an American guy, an Indian guy, and a Chinese guy.
They see a really attractive waitress and comment on her good looks. Next thing you know they start making bets on who can get her to go out with them first.
The waitress overhears them, and she goes up to them and says, "Hey, I heard you talking about me. Well, I like an intelligent guy, so let’s see who can make the best sentence using the words ’liver’ and ’cheese’."
So the American guy goes, "That’s easy. I love liver and I hate cheese."
The waitress shakes her heard in disgust.
The black guy goes, "Well, I hate liver and I love cheese."
The waitress says, "That is so stupid. That’s essentially the same thing!"
Then the Chinese guy steps up and puts his arm around the waitress’ waist. "Liver alone, cheese mine!"

Air Plane
An airplane takes off from the airport.
The captain is Jewish and the first officer is Chinese.
It’s the first time they’ve flown together and it’s obvious by the silence that they don’t get along.
After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain speaks, "I don’t like Chinese."
The First Officer replies, " Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why ees that?"
The Captain says, "You bombed Pearl Harbor. That’s why I don’t like Chinese."
The First Officer says, "Noooo, noooo.... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That Japanese, not Chinese."
And the Captain answers, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it doesn’t matter, they’re all alike."
Another thirty minutes of silence.
Finally the First Officer says, "No like Jew."
The Captain replies, "Why not? Why don’t you like Jews?"
The First Officer says, "Jews sink Titanic."
The Captain tries to correct him, "No, no. The Jews didn’t sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg."
The First Officer replies," Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, no mattah. All same."

Baby
A Chinese couple had a new baby.
The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, black baby boy. "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?"
The puzzled father looks at his new child and says "I think we will name him "Sum Ting Wong."

Toothache
At ten o’clock in the morning, the phone rings in the office of Doctor Floss, the dentist. "Hello!" says Floss.
"Hello!" says Wu, the Chinaman. ’"What time you fixee teeth for me?"
"Two-thirty," replies Floss. "Alright?"
"Yes," says Wu. "Tooth hurtee, alright! But what time you fixee?"

The Tunnel Of Love
One day, an Asian man, an American man, and a French girl were on a train.
Along the ride, there was a short but dark tunnel. When they entered the tunnel, a kissing sound, then a slapping sound was heard. Once outside, everyone could see a large red mark on the American’s face.
The French girl thought, "That American probably tried to kiss me, but accidentally kissed the Asian, and he slapped him."
The American thought, "The Asian tried to kiss the French girl, and she tried to slap him, but accidentally slapped me."
Now, the Asian thought, "That was great! Me kiss pretty French girl, and slap crazy American! Can’t wait for next tunnel!"









Life is small, Live it..
Love is short, Do it..
Troubles are momentary, Face it..
Memories are sweet, Cherish it..

I am exceptional, Accept it..



The Crazy Tan Kok Beng


Why did Kok Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed!

***

Kok Beng wants to buy a TV set.. He goes to a shop.
Kok Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Kok Beng : "Give me a green one, please."

***

Kok Beng is filling up an application form for a job. He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc. Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.

After much thought, he writes "Yes"

***

Kok Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Kok Beng : "What is that shiny object?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
Kok Beng : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Kok Beng : "I'll buy it"

The next day, Kok Beng goes to work with his thermos flask
Boss : "What is that shiny object?"
Kok Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
Boss : "What does it do ?"
Kok Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Boss : "What do you have in it?"
Kok Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"

***

After taking photocopies of documents, Kok Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

***

Kok Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.

***

Why can't Kok Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.

***

Kok Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it. When he encountered some problems. He decided to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.

Kok Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me ?!"

***

Kok Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear"
"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But ....... what happened to the other ear ?"
Kok Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back !!!!"

***

Kok Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Kok Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE
TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?" Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Kok Beng : "THANK YOU " AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE."

***

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Kok Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Kok Beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Kok Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS."

***

At a bar in New York, the man to Kok Beng's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Kok Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
Kok Beng replies : "Tan Kok Beng, MARRIED"

Victor Tan Yian Liang
Male
Catholic
10101989
Libra
NS

I tend to be:
-active, adventurous and slightly impulsive
-extremely talkative and curious
-casual, adaptive, and free spirited
-logical and calm but capable of great humor, fun, and charm
-observant and totally present in the moment
-literal and practical

My philosophy:

GESSians - 1F,2F,3H,4H
{//GESS CLASS 4H 2005\\}
{//Azar\\}
{//ChiuYi\\}
{//Dzaki\\}
{//Elvin Koh\\}
{//Eudora\\}
{//HanRui\\}
{//HongHeng\\}
{//Jia Hong\\}
{//Jia Yu\\}
{//MaioSia\\}
{//Nadiah\\}
{//NiuLi\\}
{//Pawan\\}
{//SharonYeo\\}
{//SiewHuai\\}
{//Xiao Yu\\}
{//YiFang\\}
{//Yong Bin\\}
{//ZhenShun\\}

ACSians - 5.2, 6.2
{//ACYC\\}
{//Ashely\\}
{//Colin Cheng\\}
{//Deborah Khoo\\}
{//Eggie\\}
{//Greg Ho\\}
{//Joel Khoo\\}
{//John Low\\}
{//Ronald Ip\\}
{//Victor Ang\\}
{//Weng Hong\\}
{//XuanQi\\}

Church - SMOTA
{//Annabelle\\}
{//Carmen\\}
{//Celine\\}
{//Genevieve Seah\\}
{//Jeanette\\}
{//Jeremiah\\}
{//Jolenta\\}
{//JustinChan\\}
{//Marianne\\}
{//Mikel\\}
{//Nicole\\}
{//Paul Maxi\\}
{//Rachel\\}
{//Rachel[NEW]\\}

Others
{==>PIMP MY SHIRT<==}
{//XKCD\\}
{//Cassandra\\}
{//Geri\\}
{//Jeraldine Yeo\\}
{//JiYu\\}
{//Millicent\\}
{//Roy\\}
{//ShiJie\\}
{//Yi Lin\\}
{//Stef\\}
{//Justin Yap\\}
{//Cindy Seah\\}
{//Pang\\}

For those names that are not here yet, please let me know and I will do the necessary updates. =D

U/C

May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
April 2009
May 2009
September 2009
February 2010
May 2010